Do you think you should be happy all the time?
You might look around at your seemingly wonderful life and think "well yeah, I have everything I could ever need. I'm privileged, all my needs are met...I'm lucky! Something would have to be wrong with me if I wasn't happy at least most of the time." But trying to be happy all the time? It's fundamentally a bad idea, and here's why.
Life is hard and you are HUMAN. We lose people we love unexpectedly. Our feelings get hurt. You don't get the job you wanted. Your favorite team loses. Not to mention the big stuff like wars, pandemics, racial injustice...unfortunately I could go on forever. Bad things happen all day long and being happy is not a normal response to them. And that's okay.
There’s a strong push in American society to act happy, even when we aren’t. Despite the constant messages we’re getting to “have a great day!” we are not, in fact, having great days. Contrary to our culture’s bias, it’s normal and even healthy to experience a wide range of emotions that do not include happiness. Negative emotions, even though they may not feel like it, can actually make life better. We can appreciate happiness and joy even more when it comes after a difficult time. Living a good life isn’t about being happy all the time, it’s about being authentically you. Humans are layered and complex and we are mean to feel ALL kinds of emotions. Some of our most meaningful endeavors in life come out of time when we felt badly.
In Thought Works we have a week dedicated to covering the topic of feelings and the idea that the goal isn't to be happy all of the time. The goal is to get to know your feelings intimately. To process them without getting stuck so you can move through them instead of numbing yourself out. There is nothing wrong with you if you're not happy all the time. The world is good AND bad and learning how to embrace it ALL makes the good feelings feel even BETTER.
XO
Melissa