I’m team “new year same me” forever and ever but the freshness and promise of new year does matter to most of us. You might not be wanting to make any drastic changes or commitments to resolutions (and I hope you aren’t) but there is something nice and special about starting fresh.
With that being said, there isn’t anything magical about January! It’s just the month that comes after December and frankly most of us are exhausted. When people ask how my Christmas break was I think “break?”…what break? That was f’ing exhausting. I was supposed to have a break? January is the break, people.
So if your blinders are working overtime to protect you from capitalistic marketing mania; all of the noise that lures you into believing the perfect planner, storage bin system, water bottle, or diet is gonna fix all your problems- here are a few tips to help you effectively take stock of what you actually want to be intentional about and go after in 2023.
Take the pressure off of January. Seriously, don’t think of it as a month of action, it’s a month of rest, reflection and recuperation. It is unnatural to feel energetic and ready take on the world in the winter…it quite literally goes against our body’s biology and the season if you live in the Northern Hemisphere. And if you’re a woman in America you’re tired AF after the holidays. I go inward in January, and this usually lasts through February. I take stock of the last year (I’ll tell you how further down) and slowly create some intentions from there. I don’t turn and burn until the spring (see below).
Shift the idea of goal or intention setting/adjusting to spring and fall. This doesn’t work for everyone and this definitely is not what the productivity gurus of the world will tell you to do, but it tends to flow better with our natural energy and the seasons.
Reflect on the last year. I do this by looking through my camera roll from the last year. I mark a few favorites from each month and try to identify a theme to those pictures…what feeling is coming up? If I want more of that feeling in the new year, how can I get it? How do I make more time in my life to go after it? I use those questions to decide what I want to be intentional about in the new year. If I notice there aren’t many pictures of me with friends or traveling and I want more of that, then that is something I will want to be more intentional of going after in the new year to get more of.
If you keep journal go back through and read your entries from the year. What was important to you? That will show you what your values are and then you can inventory if that’s what you want to continue or if there are changes you want to make. Jot down what you want more of and less of.
Do you feel like yourself? If you felt like yourself in 2022, great! Whatever you did to feel that way, keep doing it. If not, this is a solid foundation to build from. Maybe you don’t even know what that looks like. This is a very common obstacle after having kids, especially once they’re out of the toddler stage, getting into school and physically needing you less. You have some time to get back to you but you don’t know who you is. Maybe this is the year you figure out who she is now. Reflecting on how to feel like yourself and then make it happen is a great intention for the new year.
Be careful with S.M.A.R.T. goals. Now, don’t come after me productivity geniuses. Yeah, they work within certain contexts but many people suffer because of their black and white thinking and begin to experience much more joy when they get away from the all or nothing mindset. S.M.A.R.T. goals are the embodiment of black and white thinking but they don’t take into account that we cannot control most things. So yes, go ahead and make them if they are helpful to you, but for the sake of self compassion, maybe build a plan for resilience into them as well?
10 Questions for Reflection
These questions are will help prompt you to get you thinking about the last year and what you want for the coming year.
1. How do I want to feel about myself next year?
What made me feel like myself?
What do I like about myself?
What worked well last year that I want to continue this year?
What didn’t feel good last year that I want less of this year?
What ritual would I love to develop and stick to?
What am I really proud of from last year?
How did I feel about myself last year?
What’s something I didn’t think I could do/get through last year but I did?
What am I looking forward to this year?
(bonus* what am I done giving a shit about?)